Faith & FamilyBe Fearless with Your Story July 2, 2018 The older I get, the weirder I get. And gosh, I love it. All the things that make me “weird” in some eyes have become my absolute favorite things about myself. But always feeling on the fringe can also be a tough and isolating place to be. The people-pleaser, INFJ in me who feels things so strongly is constantly on edge. How will they react to me? What should I tone down, what should I play up to be accepted and liked? Recently, I had a turning point in my recovering people-pleaser journey. I’d shared a dream that was deep in my heart and shared it passionately. And afterward, I felt misunderstood. I felt weird. I’d expected to be cheered on and got blank stares in return. That was the final straw in a long journey of doubting myself and it made for a hard night of questioning my callings, giftings, and this unique path God has us on. And Chris, ever the encourager, jumped in. “You have to realize that sometimes you come off like a total hippie. And not everyone is going to get it.” Gee, thanks honey. I feel so much better. But he kept going, “But I LOVE those things about you, about us, and our journey. We do get weirder and weirder by some standards and I wouldn’t change it. Embrace it. But what you do have to change is how it makes you feel. Stop worrying about what others think.” Then with a shrug, he casually said what has now become my mantra, Gosh, I love this man. He is the exact, perfect gift that I needed. Life with these two dreamers is a rollercoaster, but it is absolutely the most beautiful, life-giving ride I could imagine. This life God has brought us together sets my soul on fire. And I’m determined to stop apologizing or feeling weird for it. No matter what we do or say, there will always be someone who feels offended, who disagrees, who misunderstands. But that doesn’t take away the power of our story. The way I see it, we have two choices. We can spend all of our energy worrying about others and let fear cripple us. Or we can step out into the glorious light of being our truest, weirdest, most awesome selves. I believe that God is writing beautiful, unique stories in each of us and I know deep down, they’re intended to be shared fearlessly. The convictions He gives us, the gifts and callings He roots firmly in our hearts, are not just to benefit our family and then be kept locked away. They are meant to be shared with brave abandon. I’m determined to do it….to show up for my life and BE FEARLESS WITH MY STORY. ********* And I’m starting today, y’all. It’s been a year since I first did the Our Story video series where I broke down how we’ve been renovating to pay off debt. It’s time for the next chapter in our story and this installment is a bit different from the others. While there is some news to share, today is filled with some background information and vision-casting. There are many things in the past that we’ve kept to ourselves and shared after the fact. And I’m not saying there is never a time for that. But in the name of being fearless with our story, we wanted to share a bit more on the front end because maybe there are people who need to hear it now. But also because we want to invite y’all along on the journey. We want to start sharing each step right as it happens to do justice to the powerful story God is writing in us…just like the powerful story He writes in all of us. You may remember that this past year in our stone cottage marks our seventh year of marriage, paying down debt, and renovating. For us, that’s grown to have beautiful symbolism of how the seventh year was characterized in the Bible. It was a year when debts were paid off and a year of rest in many ways. After years of working hard to pay off debt and being focused on survival, our seventh year has been just that…a year of rest. We looked back over our journey thus far working to pay off debt and then started looking ahead. What does God want our journey and family to look like now that He’s taken care of that enormous load we carried? In today’s video, I’m sharing the first look at that. In today’s video, I’m breaking down things like financial independence, residual income, sacrificing to pay off debt, and other good stuff. I’m giving you a pretty clear look at our financial mind and where we think we’re headed from here. Finances isn’t something that most people talk about a lot. So we know that it’s a sensitive subject that could easily be misunderstood. But we will be fearless in sharing this, friends, because like I keep saying, we just don’t believe God is writing this story for our benefit alone. So sit back, grab a cup of coffee or hit play on your drive to work, and join us for this turning point in our story. Yep, we’re doing an addition. As I said, for us, downsizing was first about financial reasons (paying off as much debt as possible). But it was also an experience we felt our family needed. And it has changed us. I know every future project will be shaped by this experience. For several different reasons, adding onto this house now was not exciting to me. But there was no doubt it was the right decision for our family’s long-term vision of financial independence. Sometimes the smartest financial decision isn’t the cheapest, but it’s the most profitable in the end. And now I am getting excited about the project ahead. This year of rest has been good, but we’ve both been feeling restless and ready for a project. I know…we’re super weird like that. But planning reno’s together and pouring our that creative energy ignites our marriage and we’re both better versions of ourselves when doing that. I have so much to share in upcoming posts! I’ll be sharing what it’s been like to live in this smaller footprint so far, where we put things, etc. And then I’ll be sharing addition details and plans. The house will still be the smallest we’ve lived in even with the addition, but I know that added space will significantly change how our family functions here. Stay tuned, friends. As always, I can’t thank you enough for always showing up here and pouring encouragement over us! ********* And if you haven’t listened to the rest of our story, you can find it below:
cassie bustamante says July 2, 2018 at 10:53 am i honestly don’t usually watch videos, but since you were talking finances i really wanted to listen. you are so inspiring! we really need to focus on bringing more residual income into our home. things are SO tight right now and i am feeling a little at a loss and with no time to even invest in my blog, or other things. hoping i will soon have more time! Reply
Lindsay says July 2, 2018 at 4:03 pm Oh I’m so glad, Cassie! I feel you! Having the time to invest here is so hard these days!!!! But you’ll get there. Soak up this time with your new, sweet baby 🙂 Reply
Sherry says July 2, 2018 at 4:52 pm Wow so excited for you. I love your story and have shared your posts with my grand girls who are getting ready to get married. Can’t wait to follow along with you. Keep preaching truth sister. God is good. Reply
Lindsay says July 2, 2018 at 8:13 pm OH Sherry thank you for saying that! I really can’t tell you how much it means. Sharing all of this can be tough, but words like yours are so affirming to me! Reply
Holly says July 2, 2018 at 5:21 pm I don’t normally watch videos either…especially 26 minute ones!!…..but just had to watch and just have to comment. You are on the right track :). And love your continual reference about the path that God is leading you on. 🙂 🙂 🙂 What you’ve done has been amazing…and you’ve been blessed because you did things differently and not what “the world” would do with that $. Can’t wait to see what plans He has for your family in the future! Reply
Lindsay says July 2, 2018 at 8:12 pm Haha thank you so much, Holly! YEs, these story videos are rather long because there’s so much to share! Thank you for watching and for your sweet comments 🙂 It meant the world to me! Reply
Monica says July 2, 2018 at 6:14 pm This was interesting. I have not had the time to watch to all the past videos, but I am wondering houw you actually ended up with so much student loan debt? My oldest is going to college next year, and he has signifacant scholarship and grant money, and fortunatley I (just me- Iam a single mom (of two) by choice) have saved, well so I will be able to help cover the rest of the cost of school, BUT he will still take the $5500 Federal Student loan each year because I want him to 1)be invested in his education and 2) to build some credit. In order to take the loan he had to do an online counseling session that talked all about how much the loan will cost in the end and how much he might have to pay eacg month once he graduates and gets a job. I was actually pretty impressed. Wondeirng if anyone explaind this to you when you took the student loans? Reply
Lindsay says July 2, 2018 at 8:10 pm Thanks for this Monica! We went to a wonderful and prestigious, but incredibly expensive private school. WE both felt a strong purpose to go there for different reasons, but it was over 50k a year at the time…we both had half scholarships and STILL ended up with that. And no, for our loans at the time, we didn’t have to do any kind of counseling. We both, me especially, had no idea what that would mean coming out. To be honest, back then I knew NOTHING about money. I didn’t know what it would cost a month or what we’d have to make to cover it when you factored in other life expenses. We really thought, “man, we’re going to a great school, we’ll get amazing jobs right out of the gate!” And then we both got jobs making 25k a year :\ It’s been the biggest learning experience for us. I’ve gotten asked a lot if we’d make the same decision again knowing what we do now and that really is a hard question. In many ways, no. But in others, I see the purpose in it and it’s hard to question. When you set the loans aside, we both had the most wonderful experience there. The relationships we found, the spiritual growth, all of it is hard to question. I’m not saying we couldn’t have had that anywhere else, but I don’t have anything to compare it to. Also, it’s how a boy from New Jersey met and fell in love with this Southern girl. And now, seeing the adventure that was born out of that place of despair and hopelessness, I’m so grateful for it. They say seasons of struggle yield fruit and for us, it’s so true. I wouldn’t want it for others. I wouldn’t advise students now to take that on. But I also can’t argue with the life and the story God’s used it to write in our lives. I think it’s amazing that you’re having your son take out a small loan. Our plan and hope is to save and be able to cover college, but to do exactly what you mentioned because this has been invaluable for us. Reply
AmandaKB says July 2, 2018 at 6:31 pm As a fellow INFJ, I so empathize with the people pleasing thing. I’m slowly learning to get over that. I loved watching/listening to the next portion of your story! My husband and I are making similar decisions by knocking out debt, living within our means, buying and living in a cheap fixer upper, driving an older used vehicle, and skipping certain things like TV and week-long vacations. I don’t consider us extreme, though I recognize we’re making abnormal choices compared to the mainstream. I do get frustrated at times because it can get overwhelming and feel like such a slow process for us. At the same time, we’ve been able to see this is exactly what we need to do in order to reach the goals we have. Some people think we’re crazy, but many are quite supportive. I don’t think you guys are weird at all, but that’s coming from someone who feels like a complete weirdo most of the time. LOL Keep doing what you’re doing. Know there are others out there with similar perspectives. I love that you’re brave enough to share. It’s inspiring and reassuring to me, and I love that I can feel so connected to a “stranger” on the internet. I hope your posts continue to inspire others toward a journey that’s best for their own families. Reply
Lindsay says July 2, 2018 at 8:05 pm Thank you so much, Amanda! I feel like I say this all of the time, but man, you are such a encouragement – ALWAYS! Love hearing that y’all are on a similar journey. I’ve always believed it, but do even more now, it is so worth it! Keep at it girl! And this is probably only one of the twenty things that’s weird about me…or more hahaha! Glad to know I’m not alone though! Reply
Sandie says July 2, 2018 at 8:18 pm I loved Your previous videos and am so glad you’ve started another series. No matter your age, stage of life, income, etc, I find this interesting, valuable, and look forward to seeing more. Thank you for sharing and God bless. Reply
Christie says July 3, 2018 at 10:08 am I appreciate your honesty about the 300k in student debt. My husband and I have had such conversations about how college costs so much more than it did for us in the 90s, and how much we can wisely advise our almost-college-aged kids to take on as debt. Reply
Austin says July 3, 2018 at 12:51 pm So. Many. Thoughts. 1. Superficial — LOVE that top! Not that I could buy it until 2019 ha ha, but where did you get it? 2. I am SO thankful for your willingness to share your story. You know (at least maybe from what I’ve shared on social media) that we’re on a debt freedom journey/shopping ban for the year, and my husband is often hesitant for me to share details in a public forum. To respect his wishes that we keep actual numbers private, I don’t share, but I do feel like I’ve been so helped/encouraged/blessed by those who ARE willing to go into more detail. God is totally making a way for us in this journey, as well, and I share what I can because I’ve already seen other people ask questions and be curious. Okay, this is super rambly, I’m sorry, basically I just wanted you to know that despite the fear of how people would respond, I am so grateful you did! You have been a huge inspiration to me as I’ve been going through this year. 3. I am so EXCITED to see the addition start to come together! I’ve never had to live through the madness, so I can understand why you were reluctant, but oh, how I miss your posts about renovating! Reply
Megan M says July 3, 2018 at 3:56 pm Lindsey- I love that you share all of this story out loud and so vulnerably. We are in similar seasons right now with little ones and paying down student loans. I love hearing how people do what they do financially. I’ve started reading about house hacking and such. I’d love information or strategies on how you use credit cards or larger lines of equity to pay for renovations, etc. we are hoping to take a gap year off from work to travel, explore cultures, and do service projects with our kids. My husband and I are brainstorming ways to finance this so we can work towards it down the road! Thanks for all your info. Your videos feel like chatting with a kindred spirit! Best of luck with all the magic you’re manifesting. Reply
Lindsay says July 6, 2018 at 5:15 pm OOOOHH Megan. Reading this was a breath of fresh air. I have SOOO MUCH to say on this! I absolutely love that idea and we have so many similar ones for our future! I’ll do more posts later. But here’s a nutshell of what we’ve done/are doing. We always talk to the bank and know that our equity line will be there after renovation. We study our neighborhood carefully and know appraisal values. So we know what it’ll appraise for after reno is finished and we’ll be able to qualify for our equity line once the reno is complete. Does that make sense? Then, we’re getting a good travel credit card (our favorites so far are Southwest and Capital One Venture). For signing up, you get a large chunk of points which usually equates to two flights. But then we put the entire reno (all that we can except some contractor payments who don’t accept credit cards) on the credit card. As soon as the reno is done, we have the new house appraised, qualify for the equity line and pay off the credit cards. That’s funded flights for so many trips! But what we’re planning to do going forward to boost this more is to rent our home when we travel through air B&B. We’re in a downtown area where that rents really well, so if we aren’t here and we rent it, that will pay for our expenses on the trip! We’re thrilled about this possibility because if we’re willing to rent it when we’re gone, longer trips are possible too because it’s paying for it! And if we have the modes of residual income I mentioned, we make money wherever we are 😉 Reply
Megan M says July 6, 2018 at 10:21 pm Thank you for all the ideas and for taking the time to reply to my comment so thoughtfully! I will keep everything you mentioned in mind. This info is so helpful! Do you follow grit and polish? She talks a lot about this stuff too. We are just starting to think about how to finance all of our crazy dreams so I will take all the advice I can get! 🙂 Have a great weekend! -Megan Reply
Lindsay says July 7, 2018 at 2:45 pm Yes! Several friends have told me about her and I’ve started following her!! Reply
Susan L. says July 5, 2018 at 6:28 pm I did a 3-year stint of Jungian analysis where the analyst and I worked on me through my dreams. Akin to that process, I met many others doing the same thing and joined a dream group where 3 other women friends and I got together once a month, each shared a dream, and discussed it. None of us were psychoanalysts, just everyday, ordinary dreamers. But I left the group after I had an experience like the one you describe. I didn’t stop being friends with these women, but I didn’t feel comfortable sharing something as personal as a dream in a group setting. People either just don’t get it, or they want to put their own spin on it, which is not appropriate with a dream. What it means to the dreamer is key, and sometimes that takes a while to interpret. AND the interpretation EVOLVES over time!!! Dreams are so rich that they continue to unfold. My husband and I do share dreams and discuss them, and sometimes I write about my dreams. But I seldom share dreams in a way that invites comment. It’s private property. Reply
Lindsay says July 6, 2018 at 5:10 pm Such an interesting perspective! I hate that happened to you because that group does sound amazing!!! Reply
Chloe says December 3, 2018 at 12:27 pm Lindsay, I am so happy to hear your story and thank you so much for sharing. I used to follow your blog and it’s been over a year since ‘checking in’. I just happened to think of the white buffalo styling co while searching for some remodeling inspiration and I am so glad I stopped by! I LOVE your work on the new house. The kitchen is beautiful. Your homes are a great inspiration to me. I just watched this video and was amazed and thankful that God led me to watching it. My husband and I have been on a similar journey ever since we have been married. We just celebrated our 4th year of marriage and those years have been full of sacrifice and hard work. We have the vision like you have so beautifully said of financial independence. We have remodeled each of our homes with the intention of renting each one. We now have 2 rental properties and are currently living in a fixer upper so to speak :). Our last two homes we have either lived in the remodel doing most of the work ourselves or quickly remodeling before putting it on the market. Which simply means our home and lifestyle throughout this journey has not been the most glorious thing. 😉 My husband has incredible vision and I am so thankful for his leading down this path of financial independence. While I am on board, I have moments where I get frustrated and feel like no one understands. Our more simple lifestyle is so out of the norm that I have sometimes felt like everyone thinks I’m crazy how we live like this… no tv, paid off inexpensive cars etc. From the outside our journey to this point may look glamorous but it has been a constant life of sacrifice. Throughout our journey, I have felt like I am on this little island all by myself living a life that no one understands and I am just so happy to have heard your story. I feel like we are not alone and someone else understands :). I know of the sacrifice you and your family have gone through to get you to this point! And I praise God with you, for giving you the vision and the strength to make it through! He is so faithful! And with God’s blessing, I believe financial independence is more near than we can dream. And it will be so worth the obedience and sacrifice. God bless you and your sweet family. Thank you so much for sharing your story! ?? -Chloe Reply
Lindsay says December 6, 2018 at 7:06 am CHLOE!!! Thank you so so much for sharing this. I can’t tell you how much it encouraged me to hear your words! Girl, you are WELLLL on your way in just four short years! So incredible 🙂 Even though I shared this and we’ve been on this journey so long, it does feel isolating and all the things you said! So I am still in the same boat and was so encouraged by this comment! Thank you for sending me this encouragement! Reply