Faith & FamilyStand Where it Shines August 11, 2016 This post has been on my heart for months and months now. Does that ever happen to you? Does your heart just wrestle over something for awhile and then it takes more and more shape until it feels like the light is finally dawning and you have extreme, simple clarity? I planned to write this post back when I revealed the bedroom and just didn’t quite have the words yet. I finally started the post about a month ago, saved it as a draft because I still couldn’t find the words, and have gone back to it multiple times. This is one of those posts that my soul needs to write, that I feel like God just laid onto my lap to put words to some things I’ve been going through, but I waited for the right words to come. Now, I’m realizing that seasons like this take a lot out of you and while you process a lot in the trenches, it usually takes coming out on the other side and getting some space to fully grasp what you learned and what God may have been doing there. Have y’all ever felt darkness? Suffocating, deep darkness void of any truth and overflowing with lies? It sucks you in, pulls you under, and pushes you deeper and deeper the more you try to claw your way out of it. My spring and some of the summer has been characterized by this darkness. It’s been a battle like I’ve never really had to fight before. Y’all may remember me writing about my postpartum health issues. All of those thyroid problems drug on forever and ever and in many ways, it felt like war. War against my own body, against my value as a woman, against who I am at my core. You can read more about that story here because if I went into it too, this post would be way too long and y’all would never make it all the way to the end with me. But to sum it up, I really felt that I was coming out of that before all of this began. In January, my thyroid was finally regulated. I felt good, my lab results were good. It was OVER, finally. I tried to just return to my life and for a little bit that worked. And then it started to change. There were so many factors in different areas of my life that rolled up into one dark season for me. I won’t go into all of the details of that, but some of the key factors so that you have context were a new bible study I was doing on Revelation that brought up questions I’d never thought of before, a health scare that thankfully turned out to be nothing, and some happenings with work. The very specific details of those aren’t the important lesson here, but basically, while I thought I was healed and was back to normal, only a part of me was. My body was. The other side effects of my thyroid problems were gone. But my soul was aching. I realize now that I was so broken down by all of those issues. My spirit had taken hits and while at times, those struggles brought me closer to God, there were a lot of cracks left where lies could creep in. I hadn’t fully given my health struggles over to God, though I often thought I had. And I’ve come to learn that not relinquishing full control of our challenges can leave you in a rough place. Work became a struggle. While I felt back creatively, I really started to battle my value when it came to work. While I say that my identity is found in Christ alone, that often gets skewed and shifts to the blog, the brand that I’ve built. While it is a business, it’s personal. Every post is about our home, our life, our child, so when those negative and critical comments flood in, it’s hard not to believe those lies and take them to heart. Before I just knew that was part of the territory, though I’d never gotten a ton. And I still got way more positive comments than critical, but the negative ones really started to hurt more and to make me question what I’m even doing with this. I’ve never really understood the drive behind leaving a critical or negative comment about someone’s home or life. I believe we all have unique styles, everyone’s home should look different, and we’re all working on budgets and re-purposing what we can. My home is never perfect in the eyes of the world, but it’s perfect for us. I believe that we can find inspiration in everything, but if there’s something we’d do differently, that’s fine! No need to write a cutting comment about it. But I realize that people in the world will always do that. They’ll hide behind their computers and tear down someone else even when it isn’t productive and I used to be stronger in the face of that. But when you’re broken down enough, the Father of Lies starts to use whatever he can to pull you into darkness. I’d see some amazing opportunity another blogger had and immediately feel less than because I hadn’t gotten it. Pure evil, y’all. I’d get a nasty comment and immediately have thoughts about how what I was doing didn’t matter, was pointless and I should just stop. It was a waste of my time. The lies kept coming and grew. So many days, I felt like such a failure as a mom. Looking back, there weren’t even major reasons for that! But I believe that Satan’s goal is to tear us down at every turn and stop us from being on the path God has us on. It’s a life-giving path of purpose and light and it’s his enemy. I’d read about what other stay at home moms were doing with their day and my head would play on repeat how I wasn’t measuring up. I wasn’t getting Rosie outside for two hours every single day. I wasn’t doing organized learning time every single day. Thus, I was a failure. Lies. Lies came literally about every part of life and I bought them hook line and sinker. Work, mom balance? I sucked. Just quit trying. You’re failing miserably at both. Providing for my family? You can’t even keep the laundry done! How many nights do you have healthy meals prepared for your family when they need it? Yep, a failure. You’re completely alone. That one hit me hard. My jobs (both blogging and being a stay at home mom) can be so isolating. You have to be so intentional to rise out of that and build community and let’s be honest, I wasn’t doing a good job of that. You don’t matter. You’ll never be enough. The world is filled with evil and death. Through all this, more tragedies happened in the world that I can even remember or count. While I was fighting my own personal battle, the evil in the world was becoming so apparent. Shooting after shooting, young parents dying of horrible cancer. All of this filled me with fear and deep sadness. How do we live in joy and light in a world like this? That’s so broken, so uncertain, and so clearly evil? How do I live life to the fullest and enjoy each day knowing that tomorrow, we could be a headline? We could be the family everyone’s praying for on Instagram. It could be my baby lost, my husband, or me. And even if it’s never us, it’s somebody. Somebody’s hurting, somebody’s losing loved ones long before their time and that shouldn’t be. God isn’t who He says He is. This one layered on top of all of the others stopped me dead in my tracks. Due to a lot of different factors combined at the same time, I deeply questioned who God is and are His promises true for the first time in my life. This truly was probably the toughest lie to hear and fight because it’s so central to who I am and how I’ve lived. But this is also the one that made me finally see this for what it was: the spiritual battle of a lifetime. While I’d felt only darkness and lies for months, I’d been fighting against it with the weapons in my arsenal and let’s face it. They’re not enough. You fight against it, and fight some more, until you finally realize that you can’t claw your way out of it alone with human strength. It’s supernatural. It’s other. The only way to come out of it is to let go and allow God in His ultimate strength and power to lift you up, leaving it behind. You flood your soul with prayer, His word and truth, and community, and before you know it, light starts to fill those cracks where the lies used to creep in. As I really started processing this and started trying to heal, I came across a quote that brought me such clarity. The light is shining. Just because I hadn’t felt it didn’t mean it wasn’t all around me. God’s love is shining all around us and as I started to question all of those lies above in light of His love and truth, they all melted away. They’re not discounted. They’re still there, still battles, and still huge issues, but I see them differently now. I see that my value comes from Him alone and my purpose in work, marriage, and motherhood is restored. I’m finding joy in it again and realizing that He has me on my own path. It’s no one else’s, so don’t look around wishing for other opportunities. Love the ones you have be ever grateful. I’m realizing that I was holding myself to a standard of perfection in every area and when I fell short (which I always will), I felt defeated and useless. Now I’m realizing that my calling is to be faithful, not perfect. And while nothing takes away from all of the horrible, senseless tragedy in the world, I am reminded of God’s promise again that He will return and all will be restored. In the end, there will be justice for all, and the light will shine forever. There will be no more darkness because darkness cannot exist in His presence. When I was working on the bedroom back in May, I was processing all of this and had a quote in my head constantly: STAND WHERE IT SHINES. I made a quick little sign to hang right here by my bed so that every morning when I rise, I will see it and start my day with that goal. I love this quote so much because it reminds me that this is a choice. The light is there for us, shining down all around us and it’s our choice whether or not we choose to stand and bask in those shining rays of sun or stand outside their reach where lies creep in and destroy. None of this is meant as a pity party. I love everything about my life and am so grateful for it, but I believe that we all feel the darkness at times. We all struggle. We all feel fear over our children’s safety. We all worry about our health. We all have that deep burning question, do I matter? Does what I’m doing have purpose? And the toughest part about this is that we hardly ever talk about it. We don’t share those deep, dark struggles with others because maybe we’re embarrassed. Maybe another lie we’re told is that our problems don’t matter, other people are dealing with worse. Lies keep us from sharing our battles because sharing is where healing happens. Bringing those lies out into the light and sharing them with a loved one or friend is what reveals them for what they are. Foundless, ridiculous, FALSE lies. I’ve felt so compelled to share my battle just so you know you’re not alone. And that hopefully, you’ll see the thoughts that may be flooding your heart about who you are to God and your value as a human being for what they are: lies. I’m trying to look for that shining light in my everyday now and I do hope y’all will join me. It’s in Rosie’s sweet laugh. It’s in new words she says. It’s in a kind word from a stranger. It’s in a deep heart-felt talk with a friend over tea. It’s in flowers blooming outside our window. It’s in the way Gracie comes up and lays her head in my lap looking up with those big, brown eyes. It’s literally all around us. When you start looking for it, the amount of light-filled blessings and moments you’ll find will overwhelm you with joy and renewed purpose. Believe me, I know. All of this processing has given me a renewed purpose in each area of my life that before felt so dark. For the blog, I have finally let go (though it’ll be a continual ongoing battle I know) of trying to please everyone. The critical comments will come. Some readers won’t like certain things you post about. But it’s your blog. Post what you feel called to, what you’re passionate about. My goal when I started this blog was transparency above all. While it’s mainly a design and renovation blog, I wanted it all to be through the scope of our life. I wanted y’all to see and hear us. Things we love, how we’re living in our home, things we’re doing as a family, budget breakdowns, all of that comes into play when we’re talking about transparency. The biggest piece there for me is faith and matters of the heart and soul. I started this blog with the goal to share my heart, share my struggles, and share the One who I believe heals all. During this struggle, I really started to question that. Some will tell you not to share that because it’ll keep you from growing. You should just keep that stuff to yourself. I think they’re actually probably right. I’ve gotten comments and e-mails after posts like this where people are critical and unfollow. But I’m reminded now that it’s okay. That doesn’t change my purpose. The goal isn’t growth, the goal is to be faithful to a calling. And that’s enough for me. And I thank y’all for reading and for encouraging me. It’s amazing. While this blog became something I was struggling over, it was a HUGE part of my healing. It seemed that each day I was really trying to battle out of this, I’d get an e-mail from one of you sweet readers just to tell me that my words meant something to you. While I’ve gotten some of those throughout my blogging career, I got more as I was coming out of this season than ever before. Just another way God was shining His light down and reminding me I was loved by Him. I’ve saved all of those in an encouragement folder in my e- mail so that when dark days come in the future like I know they will, I can whip those out and recognize lies for what they are and be renewed in my purpose. This has truly been one of the most defining phases of my life. And while being in the midst of it were some of the hardest days I’ve had, coming out on the other side is filled with joy and strength. I feel stronger than ever before in who I am called to be, who God is, what kind of mother and wife I want to be, what this blog is supposed to be, ….all of it. I have clarity and my bedside sign is going to remind me to rise each day and choose to stand where that truth-filled light is shining. I’m not starting this as some big weekly hashtag, but I want a way to add meaning back into what I share. While I do weave it in from time to time, I’ve moved away from it some, both on social media and the blog as I’ve been in the midst of this spiritual warfare. I believe we all need encouragement to look for the light around us. I’m not setting any kind of formula or schedule to this, but when I see those light-filled moments, I’m going to share with this hashtag. Feel free to join me, if you like. More than anything, it’s a discipline for me to continually look for it and continually make the choice to choose light over darkness. Thanks for listening to me bear my heart today, friends. It’s been a journey and I can’t tell you how encouraged and strengthened I feel to have you along with me. *** That’s been The White Buffalo motto for the last three years and is still what I’m striving to do each day in our home and with our family. Yes, that often means tablescapes, inspiring interiors, and fun before and after renos. But it also means family. Faith. Joy. Struggles. Laughter. Health. You’ll find a little bit of all of that here as I share how we’re choosing to live with both style and purpose. A huge part of that is our journey toward a more natural life that’s focused on enjoying each and every moment together. A huge thanks to my main blog sponsor that makes this dream of mine possible:
Beth says August 11, 2016 at 10:43 am Hi Lindsay, I’ve been reading your blog for awhile, and like a lot of people, when I read something I enjoy, I just go along with my day, without stopping to tell the blogger. I’ve been trying to remember to say thanks periodically – because I hate to think that so many people just see negative comments from people who seem to get joy by tearing other people down. I really enjoy your work! It’s cool, and different, and is definitely not something I see on every blog – it’s unique. I also appreciate your honesty about your health struggles. I just had my second baby in the spring and struggled with postpartum depression afterwards. I’m feeling much better now, but it was comforting for me to see someone else dealing with issues surrounding their health post baby. I also work from home and between that and my kids, it can be very isolating. Fortunately I don’t have people commenting snarky things about my work to contend with. I firmly believe that your blog is for you – I’m not a religious person, but several bloggers I follow are, and it certainly doesn’t offend me to hear about their perspective. We can all be different and still be kind to each other. Just wanted to take the time to say hello, and I hope you are doing well, and I enjoy your blog! Beth Reply
Lindsay says August 11, 2016 at 10:58 am Beth, I can’t say thank you enough for your comment, seriously! I’m thankful you’re here and that you responded to me being raw and exposed about health and all of my struggles. So many would rather just see design and I get those comments all the time, but it’s so refreshing to hear from a reader that the blog should be for you! Thanks so much and I’m so glad you’re here 🙂 Reply
Paula Warren says August 18, 2016 at 11:25 am I’m 63 years old,dealt with the passing of parents, raised 2 beautiful, successful daughers, divorced after knowing my ex since we were 13 years old and 28 years of marriage and through it all I always wondered what I could have done different or better…… absolutely nothing. It is what it is and its how you handle these stumbling blocks and to know your not alone even tho you feel alone. I found out I suffered from depression, got it under control, and stopped beating myself up. Of course my ex wanted me “fixed” which was a low blow to my self esteem. In the long run I met a caring man who understood me. We have been married for two years now. I learned what triggered my depression ( wanting everything perfect, magazine perfect!) I took on too many projects at once and wanted immediate gratifacation. Now I do one project (at least try) at a time and savor doing it. I just thought I would put my 2 cents in to give you a little boost…… Reply
Melissa says August 11, 2016 at 10:50 am I follow you on Instagram, but never read your blog until today. It’s so brave to put your feelings out there and expose yourself to criticism in the hopes of helping others. Thanks for sharing this message, it was exactly what I needed today! Reply
Lindsay says August 11, 2016 at 10:57 am Thanks so much, Melissa! I can’t tell you how much your comment means to me. Thanks for clicking over, reading, and taking the time to encourage! It never goes unnoticed and makes my day! Reply
Debra says August 11, 2016 at 11:06 am Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your comment that your calling is ‘to be faithful, not perfect’ struck me. So often we use someone else’s idea of perfect as our own measuring stick. It’s a joy sucker. Thank you for being real. Reply
Lindsay says August 11, 2016 at 11:38 am Debra, it so is! I’ve always been a perfectionist and I think it’s easy to think that we as women should be able to do it all. So when something falls through the cracks, I just beat myself up! Trying to let go of that impossible pressure I put on myself. Thanks so much for commenting and encouraging 🙂 Reply
Rosemary C says August 11, 2016 at 11:08 am I have been a stay at home mom for 7 years and I am fighting this same battle everyday. I wouldn’t change a minute of being with my kids but the isolation feeds into so many of those lies. It helps to know its not just me. We have had a number of changes happening recently some have helped but several have made things worse. (we are church hunting right now because of it) My youngest 2 are off to Kindergarten this year. So many changes and so many reasons to remain faithful. Thank you for writing this post! Reply
Lindsay says August 11, 2016 at 11:37 am Rosemary, I’M so glad to know that I’m not alone! Thanks for the comment and I’m sorry to hear that you’re in a similar season. I’ve heard so many stay at home moms talk about how dark it can be…purposeful, but you have to fight sometimes to rise above. Thanks so much for sharing a bit of your story! Reply
Lindsay Gilmore says August 11, 2016 at 12:03 pm Hi friend! Just had to say that this post is so brave, honest and totally resonated with me! And also wanted to leave a little encouragement for you. I’ve been following your blog and journey for a few years now and I’ve loved seeing how your style has developed and changed over the years as you’ve grown your family. You bring such BEAUTY into the world and though it’s tempting to feel like that isn’t worthwhile or meaningful (I think that all the time as an artist), it MATTERS. And your words matter too. Thank you for your example of a woman who is brave enough to pursue her dreams. Proud of you! 🙂 Reply
Lindsay says August 11, 2016 at 3:55 pm Thanks so much for sharing that, Lindsay! Yes, in the face of all that’s going on in the world, it’s so easy to feel like NONE OF THIS MATTERS! But it does. Creating beauty shines light into that darkness – I am a firm believer in that! Thanks so much for encouraging me today!! Reply
Ann Flora says August 11, 2016 at 12:33 pm I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through such tough times and so glad that you’re reaching the other side and seeing the light. I will never understand why people choose to leave harsh, negative comments, and now I regret that I don’t leave more positive ones. When I cleaned up my blog feed recently, yours was one of the ones I kept because I enjoy the house transformation, your personal style (I usually know your posts on Pinterest before I see your name on them!), and your real-ness. Keep on doing what you’re called to do. It’s hard not to be affected by what’s out there, but the spirit’s leading is what matters most. Reply
katy says August 11, 2016 at 1:15 pm i shared this post with my family. it came at a perfect time for me in my current situation. thanks for being so honest with the masses. we don’t deserve it but i am personally grateful such beautiful words are out there for us to feel. what you do is so personal and i can’t imagine how difficult it can be emotionally. keep up the good work. stand in Christ. stand in The Light. what a perfect reminder. Reply
Lindsay says August 11, 2016 at 3:54 pm Thank you so much, Katy and I’m so glad that this resonated with you! I hoped that this post would encourage others, but just reading the comments sure is encouraging me to realize I’m not alone in feeling like this from time to time. Reply
Rebecca says August 11, 2016 at 1:20 pm I’ve been reading for a few years now and appreciate your work (such an interesting designer that I want to leave my traditional style and go all eclectic and boho!) But I especially appreciate your words today. I’ve been pulled by the darkness so many times you’d think I would realize it when it happens, but it still takes me by surprise when I realize I’m living in the shadow. I can’t help but think of the helmet of truth….I know it’s the belt of truth, helmet of salvation…but the battle is so much in my mind! I want my mind protected by truth! Here’s one of many truths for the day: You are ever so treasured by your Father. Reply
Lindsay says August 11, 2016 at 3:53 pm Thank you so much, Rebecca! First for your sweet compliments and also for your encouragement. The helmet of truth! I love that. As I’ve really become aware of what these attacks are, I’ve been quoting the armor of God to myself! Truth really is teh foundation and sheds light on all of that darkness! Reply
L carter says August 11, 2016 at 1:57 pm I’m only a recent follower of your blog and not particularly religious but what a beautifully written, honest (or transparent) post. I identify with a lot of what you’ve said and there have been times this year I’ve dreaded to turn on the news in case something else bad has happened somewhere that I feel helpless to stop. Stand where it shines is such a great motto to live by! Reply
Lindsay says August 11, 2016 at 3:52 pm Thank you so much, Louise! So happy that you found the blog and thank you so much for commenting today. I’m so glad that this is resonating with people on so many different levels and in different ways. It is so refreshing and encouraging to realize we’re all in it together! Reply
Caitlin Vinson says August 11, 2016 at 2:10 pm Lindsay, it was so good to run into you the other day! I hate that I don’t get to see you very much and I wish I had the chance to hang out with you. But despite that, I have to tell you, I think you are a sure ‘nough rockstar! Thank you for sharing your heart and wisdom that the Lord has revealed to you. You are amazing and your confidence and humility exudes from you. Never doubt that YOU are a light in the darkness! <3 Reply
Lindsay says August 11, 2016 at 3:51 pm Oh Caitlin, friend, you are so sweet! It was wonderful to see you too and we miss you on Thursday nights! Thanks for encouraging me today 🙂 You lifted me up for sure! Reply
Mechele says August 11, 2016 at 2:34 pm I am also guilty of being a loyal follower, but never leaving a comment. I think you are a beautiful strong woman, you have a beautiful little girl, marriage, and home. This is YOUR blog – you do what makes you happy and what you feel is pleasing to God. Period. Dot. Stay strong and keep standing in the light! Reply
Lindsay says August 11, 2016 at 3:50 pm Thanks so much for encouraging me today, Mechele! All of your comments really are just making my day and affirming me so much in my need to share this. So glad that you’re here and thank you for your kind words! Reply
Mikalah says August 11, 2016 at 2:34 pm I love that you shared this! You’re right, it is so hard to fight those lies every day. It’s always encouraging to know we are not alone in that battle! This Summer has been hard on me too, and I’ve noticed Satan’s attacks hit me with those lies too. Thankfully, I’m really starting to see God’s truth more and more as I continue to read scripture and pray against the lies. I’m reading the book “Uninvited” by Lysa Terkeurst, I would HIGHLY recommend it as she talks in depth about some of these issues that we face as women. <3 Reply
Lindsay says August 11, 2016 at 3:49 pm Mikalah, I’ve been seeing her coverage of that book on Instagram and really want to read it! Thanks so much for the recommendation and for popping in to encourage me! Really appreciate it. I’m so sorry your summer has been hard, but it is so helpful for us to all know we’re not alone! Thanks for sharing! Reply
Connie Keys says August 11, 2016 at 3:36 pm You are in a certain season of your live. It can be a very difficult time raising children and trying to fit in other things in your life. We all feel inadequate during that time. I am 65 and still have many guilty feelings about working outside the home, full time, while our son was growing up. I feel that I just never did enough. But that son assures me that I did a great job and that he is happy that his dad was called on to be a very big part of his life because I worked. Every season will be an adjustment in your life, some very easy and some very hard. I am now involved in another difficult season….retirement. It can be very hard some days. I feel that I am not accomplishing enough some days. I have time, but sometimes the motivation is not there. Guilty? Yes! I feel your blog is yours and you do a wonderful job. I have always loved all of your decorating and projects. Their will always be haters and negative comments. Just remember there are those of us out here that enjoy you! And always remember on your hardest days, that God loves you! Reply
Lindsay says August 11, 2016 at 3:48 pm Thanks so much, Connie! I’ve realized that what you said is so true! I think each season can bring darkness if we don’t fight against it for sure! Oh that guilt, I don’t do enough, plagues me every day! Glad to hear your story on the other side of it 🙂 I bet retirement is such a transition! Thank you for taking the time to encouragement, contribute to the conversation, and share bits of your story. It is so appreciated! Reply
Susan says August 11, 2016 at 3:50 pm I am so moved by your blog every time I read it. You are a powerful woman! You inspire many of us. I’m sorry that I have not expressed how blessed I feel to share your life. The world and the evil one are always pulling us down. Our health and our families are sometimes heavy but welcomed burdens. Keep up the excellent work you are doing. Many of us depend on your light and unique ability to see our homes and lives. Reply
Lindsay says August 12, 2016 at 8:18 am Oh Susan, thank you so much for sharing that! That lifted me up today 🙂 Reply
Austin says August 11, 2016 at 3:55 pm Sitting at my desk with tears in my eyes. This post was so timely for me personally. Thank you for sharing it. Over the last few years, I’ve started to battle anxiety in a way I never have before. I get panic attacks at the strangest times and carry around medicine now in case one strikes, which often makes me feel weak and fearful. I don’t understand what triggered this, and sometimes it is so hard to pray through it when it feels like there’s only temporary relief. I do start to question God’s love for me and my value when this horrible weight takes its toll on my health and my relationships. On top of that, my boyfriend is a police officer in Texas, and the last few months have certainly not lessened my anxiety. This was like a true breath of air after holding your breath for a long time. I haven’t been immersing myself in the Word or in time spent with God, and the reasons why are the exact reasons why I should! Please know that you are NOT alone, as well, and that your blog and the work you do brings immeasurable joy and impact into the lives of your readers. Sometimes I talk about you like we’re friends (my roommate and boyfriend just roll their eyes ha ha), and if I lived closer, I’d come sit on that fantastic back patio of yours and talk this stuff out with you (one day!). Thank you for your vulnerability and the example you set by sharing this with confidence and grace. Also, sorry I just wrote a novel on your comment board. Ha ha! Reply
Lindsay says August 11, 2016 at 4:08 pm Oh Austin, never apologize for your comments! They are ALWAYS, ALWAYS life-giving. Seriously, friend! You’ve been the most kind and faithful reader and I too feel like we’re friends (as I’ve told you before!) Thank you so much for sharing this glimpse into your story today and I’m so glad I FINALLY listened to God saying write this post haha. I’ve put it off forever. I resonated with so much that you just said above. I think that feeling that way keeps you from turning to God in some ways or from reading the Word when that’s EXACTLY what we need in that time. I don’t know why we fight it that way, but I’m right there with you! Thanks so much for your sweet words, seriously. You always make my day! Love ya! Reply
Kris Atkins says August 11, 2016 at 4:56 pm I’m so sorry you went through this, Lindsay! Satan will never leave alone God’s dedicated followers. It’s no wonder he went after you. You’ve always been a light in my life and a beautiful example of a fearless follower of Christ. You’re such an example to me! I always connect Christ to everything I do, but my tendency has been not to talk about Him unless I’m at church or with a fellow Christian. You’ve really inspired me to be more open about my faith with everyone, not just with those whom it’s easy. Thank you for being a beautiful friend and such a shining light in this world. Reply
Lindsay says August 12, 2016 at 8:17 am Wow, Kristina, thank you so much for sharing that friend! I definitely don’t always feel like that, but thank you so much. And you’re so right, I’ve found in my life that Satan always attacks when he’s trying to stop specific things I’m pursuing. Often, I can pinpoint exactly what it is and while I don’t know the benefit it’ll have for the kingdom, it makes me want to keep right on because I know if it’s drawing his attention to stop, it’s worth my time to do haha! Love you and thanks for encouraging me today! Reply
Candace says August 11, 2016 at 5:59 pm Love you, Lindsay! You are an awesome mom, wife, and sister in law! Reply
Lindsay says August 12, 2016 at 8:16 am Aww, Candace, thank you so much for your sweet comment! Love you so much and am thankful for you and so encouraged by your words! Reply
cindy says August 11, 2016 at 8:46 pm I read your blog and LOVE it. It’s simple and sincere and lighthearted. Thank you for sharing your struggles because at times those of us doing the reading envision that you (bloggers) have the perfect life that we all wish we had. Sharing your struggles allows us to see you as a human just like the rest of us. It’s a good thing. How you turned yourself around is inspiring. thanks for sharing and in the words of my god friend “do something nice for yourself”. You do a lot for us out here in the blog reading world. Thank you. Reply
Lindsay says August 12, 2016 at 8:15 am Cindy,thanks for sharing! Life is definitely not perfect over here, but I totally get how it could seem that way on the outside. It is not! It’s good and I’m trying to look for the light in our days, but it’ll never be perfect 🙂 Reply
Kari says August 11, 2016 at 10:27 pm This is an amazing post and this is exactly what WILL draw people to your blog. We all crave relationship and authenticity, as I believe is ingrained in us to desire by our Maker. I was nodding my head as I read each word. I can relate to the questioning. i think that is normal and healthy, and can point us right back to where our true value lies when we get lost. I am in the season of teens and with that a dark, unimaginable journey for our family. I cling to my value being in Him, otherwise, I could not make it through to keep the family ship afloat, nor could I point my beloveds towards Him. You have done what is good, right and true (Ph 4:8-one of my favorite verses) in my opinion and surely there is Light in that! Thank you. Reply
Lindsay says August 12, 2016 at 8:20 am Thank you so much, Kari! You are so right! While it can be harder to share, we do crave that! I’m sorry to hear about your season, but what you said is so uplifting! We have to cling to Him or we can never make it through! thanks so much for commenting, joining the conversation, and sharing a little love today! Reply
Elyse Frasier says August 12, 2016 at 2:30 am “I’d been fighting against it with the weapons in my arsenal and let’s face it. They’re not enough.” Thank you for sharing this…. I don’t know why I am so quick to forget this truth, but I am grateful for the reminder, yet again. Only God can heal our hurt. I needed to hear that tonight! Please keep writing and sharing. I enjoy your blog and God is using your words to touch lives. Elyse Reply
Lindsay says August 12, 2016 at 8:14 am Thank you so much, Elyse! Your encouragement means the world and I’m so thankful that something resonated with you 🙂 Reply
Jeanne says August 12, 2016 at 10:08 am Lindsay, I have been following your blog for a while and I’ve never left a comment before, but I couldn’t pass up an opportunity here to say I’m standing in the light with you. I find all of your posts to be full of insight and simplicity, which is something I am striving for every day. Keeping it simple. In this world of “keeping up with the Joneses” it’s gotten harder and harder as we are bombarded with “pretty” and “perfect” images from blogs and social media, when we all know, just off camera, there is probably a pile of laundry or a stack of unread mail and magazines, or a kid with messy hair and peanut butter all over their hands ;). Life is real. Hard times are real. Working outside the home and raising children is no joke, and neither is working from home and raising children. I admire your honesty and for those who unfollow you because you chose to bare your heart and soul, well, we’ve all heard ‘let those without sin cast the first stone’. In my humble opinion, love and light will always win, especially when it’s hard, because that’s when we need it the most. Reply
Dolores Justus says August 12, 2016 at 11:23 am Your blog really resonated with me. I work for myself as well and I understand the isolation and insecurity. It is so easy to get overwhelmed in all that life throws at you and it is easy to question your value and to know what direction you should take. You are certainly on the right path but putting your trust in God! It is only with Him that we can ever find the peace and strength to navigate the storms in life. He’s got us. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Love the reminder to “stand in the light.” Reply
Lindsay says August 18, 2016 at 9:28 am Thanks so much, Dolores! I’m so glad to know I’m not alone and so happy that this struck a chord with you 🙂 Reply
Claire Brody says August 12, 2016 at 1:01 pm Lindsay, I just wanted to thank you for pouring out your heart in this blog post. I know that you experienced growth as a result of that dark time, but you were also able to bring light to others experiencing struggles/dark times (like me). I could relate to most every word you said, and you also provided insight and inspiration to get through it. I am so thankful for you, this platform and how you use it. Much love to you! Reply
martha bryan says August 12, 2016 at 1:31 pm This blog brought back so many memories, long ago, when I was home with them, then waiting for the school bus, and then leaving them at college. I even worked at the high school part time when they were there, and I sat in the principal’s office and cried for 2 weeks when we left the baby at Clemson (not far from you), but a whole different state for us- sooooo far away, WHY did I do this?!), and begged my husband to stay home with me and not play golf, he thought I was crazy, as I’ve always been independent, but I finally got out and put my running shoes on. Walked at first, then a little run, it helped. I still feel sad when they visit ;cause I know they’re leaving again, always will, but it’s just ’cause I’m a Mom, and love them so much. Hang in there, get out in the sun and around other people. Wishing you the best. Martha Reply
Gena says August 12, 2016 at 3:44 pm WOW…… THOSE WERE SOME POWERFUL WORDS. THERE ARE A FEW THINGS IN LIFE THAT I AM LEARNING AND WE CAN NOT AND WILL NOT PLEASE EVERYONE. WE JUST HAVE TO LEARN TO HAVE PEACE WITHIN OURSELVES AND ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT WHAT IS MENT TO BE WILL BE. I PERSONALLY ENJOY YOUR BLOG,YOUR STORIES,DECORATING STYLE AND HOW WELL YOU PUT IT ALL TOGETHER. PLUS THE PHOTOS OF ROSIE (GOD BLESS HER ) SHE IS BEAUTIFUL. AS YOU GET OLDER YOU WILL REALIZE WHAT IS TRUELY IMPORTANT. AS WITH ME WHAT I DID WITH MY BOYS IN MY 30’S VS WHAT I AM AS A GRANDMOTHER NOW IS TAKE THE TIME TO ENJOY THE MOMENT. MY BEST TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND KEEP THE POSTS COMING. YOUR TRUELY AN AMAZING PERSON. Reply
Bobbi (bobbi_style on IG) says August 13, 2016 at 12:26 am Keep your chin up Lindsay! Having your first child is such a life changing event and I think it is so normal to have the dark feelings you have had. I too had them post babies. There are so many things in your life that change & need to be adjusted that it takes its toll. You are not alone. Be gentle with yourself & keep in mind all the right things you have done. We seem to easily forget these! Reply
Lindsay says August 18, 2016 at 9:25 am Thanks so much, Bobbi! It’s so important to know we aren’t alone, I think. Really appreciate you sharing! Reply
ashley@biggerthanthethreeofus says August 13, 2016 at 8:20 am Girl, you are such an encouragement! Seriously! Love that you were brave enough to post this for all of us. =) Reply
Amy Wright says August 13, 2016 at 10:15 am I also follow, but never reply. I found myself in tears while reading your post because it so resonated with me. My oldest son is about to turn 26 and I have started over with raising my husband’s young granddaughter. I have heard the lies in my head loud and clear over the years! I so appreciate your honesty and your witness. Thank you for sharing and for reminding us all that we are not in the battle alone. HE goes before us and hems us in! Thank you so much for the inspiration and I love your style! Your baby is adorable and so are you! I pray that your family is richly blessed through this season and beyond. Thanks for the reminder to look for the blessings all around us. Shine on! Amy Reply
Lindsay says August 18, 2016 at 9:24 am Thank you so much for sharing, Amy! I’m so glad and humbled that my words resonated with you! You are so right – He does go before us! What a freeing reminder. Reply
Lila says August 13, 2016 at 2:16 pm What an inspiration you are! You share from the heart and it is such a blessing to your readers. I can totally relate to where you are, I’m there myself right now. After being a stay-at-home mom for 20+ years and now being an empty-nester, I went back to college to finish my degree. I received it 4 years ago and I’ve been looking for a job ever since. Whereas, in the past I’ve never had a problem getting a job–ever!–I am now finding that door slammed in my face. Over and over and over again. No one wants you despite you have so much to offer. I have stability, wisdom, creativity and so much more! It really sucks the life out of you and then the enemy comes around with his arsenal of lies: “You’re too old, you’re not as able as the younger crowd, you should never have had kids–look what you gave up, etc…On top of that, I’m going through hormonal depression (peri-menopause) and have begun to retreat into myself. I’ve gotten on depression medication for the first time ever in my life. I’ve never thought I’d be “that person” ever, I was the one you came to for advice and comfort. I was the one who everyone depended on. Now, I watch all my friends in their busy lives and I long for purpose again. I will say though, I have a whole new and appreciation for what it feels like to struggle with depression. It can be debilitating and some days I struggle just to get out of bed much less leave my house. But I find my strength in the Lord. I heard something the other day that helped me alot: our walk is not just the destination, it’s the journey along the way. I’m trying to find beauty and be grateful each day and serve Him in the little opportunities He’s given me. Please keep sharing! It means so much and even if you don’t hear from each one of us, just know we are blessed by your tender heart. You inspire us. I know I can keep going because I’m not alone. Blessings to you and your family! Reply
Natalie Fjellanger says August 14, 2016 at 8:30 am Thank you so much for sharing your heart, family and home. Everything you put out there is beautiful :). Reply
Lindsay says August 18, 2016 at 9:23 am Thank you so much, Natalie! Really appreciate your sweet comments 🙂 Reply
Alana says August 14, 2016 at 5:06 pm The darkness is real for a lot of us (myself included) — and some of us do not have the same world view/faith that you do. I am glad yours helps you. I am glad, too, that you finally found the words to talk about it. It is important. Reply
Haley says August 15, 2016 at 10:31 am Thanks so much for your vulnerability. I found that the devil never worked harder on me than when I first became a mother. Those first couple months (heck years) were difficult, but I continued to lean on God and quickly learned why the devil was working so hard. Motherhood is truly one of the most important jobs that I will ever have. My daughter is somehow the most naturally loving, polite and caring kids I’ve ever met and watching her be really sweet or pray when it’s unprompted (she’s 3) is so spiritual and pure. Reply
Sherri says August 15, 2016 at 9:29 pm Lindsay, this was such a brave and insightful blog! Thank you so much for your honesty and transparency. The last 2 years have been a struggle for me. I lost my husband of 37 years, fought cancer, lost my closest friend to cancer, and had a house fire which took several of my beloved pets and many possessions which held great sentimental value. It is hard to have faith when there is so much loss, but so many people have shown me so much kindness and grace, even complete strangers. There is a riddle I heard which I try to keep in mind: There are two wolves and they are always fighting. One is Darkness and Despair; the other is Light and Hope. Which wolf wins? The one you feed. Reply
Lindsay says August 18, 2016 at 9:22 am Sherri, I am so sorry to hear about your season of loss. I can’t imagine facing all of that and your perspective encourages me more than I can say! I’ve heard that last quote too and I love it. Such a good reminder and thank you so much for sharing! Reply
Elizabeth Lord says September 17, 2016 at 10:21 am Hi Lindsay. I just wanted to leave you this message to let you know what a blessing your words were to me today. God is great and wonderful and discvering your blog reminded me of this. I was looking for ceiling pendants for my home!! Your name came up as linked to one I liked and thinking you were a supplier I plunged right in! I felt so blessed that I read you post on faith and family as I can relate to so much of what you said in my own battles but also that you seem like a wonderful soul and to keep doing what your doing because it is incredible how God can and does move through us all. Take care and all the best with your future endeavours Beth xxx Reply