Faith & FamilyFor Every Thing There is a Season June 18, 2015As you may have guessed with my few posts lately, things have been running ninety miles an hour around here. The renovation is at what we guessed would be the most stressful and time-consuming phase and we were right! While we’ve done a lot of renovation projects, we know the least about foundation and framing and that’s what’s happening right now with the addition. There is A LOT to figure out and to sort through. On top of that, it’s taking all of my energy to work with Rosie right now, trying to get her on a schedule and be there for her as she’s trying to figure out the wonderful world of sleep. There are so many emotions wrapped up in all of this. There is unspeakable joy, but intermingling with that lately in my heart is the hint of failure. Ofcourse, it’s hard being a mom and knowing the “right” thing to do, even at this age. But it’s also hard to not have enough time during this season for my dreams. I feel so selfish saying that. I know that my dreams are not more important than my role as a mother. But it is hard heading in a direction and then feeling like though you’re more determined than ever and you keep that gas pedal to the floor, someone else is hitting the brakes at the worst times. When I started The White Buffalo, God gave me such a clear vision for what it would become. While some of that has become a reality, in many ways, I feel like I’m just scratching the surface. And not being able to fully pursue those things makes me feel like I’m failing. My sweet sister sent me this video of one of my favorite people’s story. I love the show, Fixer Upper, and more than that, I love the sweet family behind it. Joanna’s story spoke straight to my heart and really gave me some encouragement during this hard season, and especially hard week. Don’t worry, sharing this video is not a hint that I’m going to stop blogging. In fact, this really spurred me on to be more effective in my work. But it also gave the freedom to realize that the dreams God has given me may be more long-term than I might like and that is 100% okay. It also reminded me that while I have big, big dreams for this brand, one of my biggest dreams has always been to be a mom. Instead of believing the lies and focusing on where I am failing (because let’s face it, I’ll always be failing somewhere), I’m choosing to take Joanna’s lead and focus on the magic of this season. Though I’m inadequate and lacking, I’m seeing the threads of my dreams and my callings being woven before my very eyes into the most beautiful story. I hope hearing their story will bring you some encouragement right where you are and will cut right to the heart of your struggles, as it did for me. And I thank y’all for showing up here. For encouraging me during this hard season when there isn’t a new, exciting design post every day of the week, though I desperately wish there was. I know that time will come again and I’m thrilled for that. But thank you for seeing more in The White Buffalo than interior design. While that’s my focus, my God-given vision was always more than that. While it’s not ever going to be perfect, this is a unique place where style and souls are shared, just as I stayed up nights dreaming about. And that, my friends, is something I am immeasurably grateful for.
Liz says June 18, 2015 at 9:47 am Check out the Merlin Miracle Sleepsuit! It worked wonders for my grandson! Reply
Sonya~at home with the barkers says June 18, 2015 at 10:32 am I love your heart Lindsay and your honestly! It is so hard to function without sleep, I know. My son never, I mean not one night, slept though the night until he was 5. Every day sometime between 3 and 5am he would run into our room and jump in our bed. That little boy will be a senior in high school this coming school year and I wish with all my heart I could have one more sleepless night because he was jumping in my bed. Just know, you will ever regret missing a day doing your other passion because you were fulfilling your REAL passion as a mom. Praying for you friend because I know this momma world ain’t easy. ~Sonya Reply
Lindsay says June 18, 2015 at 11:19 am Aww, Sonya, that brought a tear to my eye! After I wrote this post last night and was doing middle of the night feedings, I thought about that. One day, I’m going to wish for this 🙂 Thank you for encouraging me! Reply
Lauren English says June 18, 2015 at 11:10 am I love love love your heart in this. When I dream about my blog, I also dream that it will be a place where style and souls are shared. I feel like the style of our homes is one of the biggest ways we invite other people into our story and give them space to share theirs as well! I love that you pursue your family and your little one and think that God will use that in huge ways. Thanks for bravely sharing your heart here! Grateful to have found your blog these last few months! Reply
Lindsay says June 18, 2015 at 11:18 am Lauren, I am so glad you can relate and it’s so wonderful to hear that others have the same heart! Thank you for being here 🙂 Reply
Melissa Sorci Taft says June 18, 2015 at 12:17 pm Hi Lindsay, My heart goes out to you and I want you to know that every working mom grapples with what you are going through right now. The video of Joanna Gaines was an inspiration – thanks for sharing. I also think you are an inspiration too! Although not all who read this would totally put their trust in God, they alternatively would say to trust your gut. Either way, you are putting your trust in a higher power and something that isn’t tangible and you can’t see it. Everything happens for a reason and in its’ own time….go with it and know that with time comes experience and wisdom. You are not a failure as nobody is without insecurities and we can only learn from our life experiences – good or bad. Good luck on your journey and enjoy every waking moment (and sleeping ones too!) with little Rosie and how she has turned your life and plans upside down. She has done what EVERY baby does with pure trust and love! God is with you! Reply
Mikalah says June 18, 2015 at 2:21 pm I love your blog but am SO bad at commenting these days, so sorry! But I had to comment on this one. I’m in a very similar situation, with two little girls and so little time. It’s hard to put your dreams on the back burner, but I keep feeling like if I don’t invest in this time with my little ones I will regret it so much. Thanks for being so honest with this post! I love hearing that others are experiencing the same things as I am, it really helps me feel less alone. =) My 7 month old still wakes up 3-4 times a night, ugh! Hopefully both our babies will get on track with sleeping soon. I second the Merlin Sleep Suit, it helped my little one start taking longer naps! Reply
Lindsay says June 23, 2015 at 9:50 pm Mikalah, thank you so much for taking the time to comment! Yes, just like you said, I know we’ll regret not spending investing in our little ones right now! Not that that means we can’t do anything else, but they’re the first priority and everything else gets what’s left of our day 🙂 Reply
Leslie says June 18, 2015 at 10:55 pm Hang tight. Just like you pointed out scripture says there is a time and a purpose. I’ve been reminded of this truth just today. Wait. He has a plan. And while I’ve seen that video and even shared it, it spoke to me where I am today. And while one of my “babies” is in college and the other is closer to finishing high school than I’d like to admit, I never once regret putting my dreams on hold to be their mom. And truthfully, being a mom became my dream and I let the expectations of others just roll right off. Believe in yourself and trust in Him. Do what is right for you and you family and the rest will come. Especially when you get some sleep and you will eventually. 🙂 Reply
Lindsay says June 23, 2015 at 9:49 pm Thanks, Leslie! Rosie surprised me and slept twelve hours last night with only waking up once and I already feel like a new woman! Reply
Corinna - For My Love Of says June 19, 2015 at 7:08 am I struggle everyday knowing that I put so much focus on my blog when my boy was a baby. I didn’t know what I was doing (with either… and still dont) and I’ve had to work full time his whole life. My focus should have been more on him. This verse means so much to me. I’ve been wanting to incorporate verses into my decor, this will be the first one. I love the you share more than design here because you make me not feel so alone in the way I’ve felt so I’m sure there are others. You’re clearly doing a wonderful job of juggling, your priorities are right. God has such a beautiful path for you. Reply
gemma@thesweetestdigs says June 19, 2015 at 9:25 am Beautiful post and please know that we will all be here supporting you and excited to read your posts, no matter how frequently they come. It’s important to take care of you and your family first. I just want to also say that you should never feel guilty about having dreams and passions and wanting to pursue those, in addition to motherhood. I truly believe that the happier you are as a person, the better mama you are to your child. I was at home with my daughter for her first year, and then we started her in a preschool because I didn’t feel like staying at home full-time was right for us, and you know what? The balance of working and motherhood has been the perfect thing FOR ME. I have so much more patience at home, the time I spend with my daughter is so much better quality than it was before, and I just have so much more fun as a mummy (and I think I’m a much nicer wife to be around, too!). So not to say that working outside the home is the right choice for everyone (I am all about supporting mums in whatever their calling is), I think it’s important to remove the guilt, you know? Take good care of yourself and that sweet girl of yours! And on a side-note, we used the Sleep Sense program by Dana Obleman and our girl was sleeping through the night by 5 months and never went back. Every kiddo is different, but it was just what worked for us. Good luck and hang in there! xo. Reply
Lindsay says June 23, 2015 at 9:53 pm Gemma, thank you for reminding me that it’s okay to dream! I definitely agree that these dreams and this outlet makes me a better mom! Days when I have even the littlest time to devote to it, I feel like I’m more present with Rosie and not thinking about the to-do list in my head. I know I’ll get to a time (and we’re starting to get there) where she takes more naps and I have a little more energy to devote to it. Just today, Rosie took two two-hour naps! I actually got a post done that I’d been trying to finish forever and got ahead and so many things. Man, it felt good! Reply
Kristin @ bliss-athome.com says June 22, 2015 at 10:31 am Sweet friend 🙂 The waiting is th hardest part. I watched that video a few months ago when I was a bit done with a few things and it was so nice to hear her perspective. Hugs! xo Reply
Lila says June 22, 2015 at 4:31 pm What an inspiration you both are! I am standing right now at this moment at what feels like a precipice between the future and my past. The calling on my life is scary and I want to run…but I know I won’t. I know because the Lord has given me the knowledge that I am never alone and that is confirmed by this video today. I really needed to hear this message. I can relate to Joanna because I am half Native American and half Caucasian( French/Irish/German). It has been a tough road but God gave me my calling when I was about 10 years old. He told me He had a plan for my life and I would make all my major decisions on that Word. I am now 50 and it’s time…I have had all those emotions as well–“What if I fail?” Reply
Lila says June 22, 2015 at 4:34 pm “What if I take us all down?” There are so many people depending on me right now…but I know God is the Dream Giver and that where He gives a dream, He gives the means to bring it to fruition. I am pressing forward. I want to thank you for sharing your heart and your work. It has been a blessing to me and my work as well. Keep on keeping on–I know I will! 🙂 Reply
Lindsay says June 23, 2015 at 9:48 pm Thank you so much for sharing this, Lila! Go for it!!! Thanks for the encouragement and reminding me that I’m not alone in this 🙂 Reply